New Year’s resolutions — a popular tradition despite the fact that most people break their resolutions almost immediately. But you don’t have to.
First, I should say I am not an expert in anything relevant here. I’m a writer and editor, not a psychologist! But being a writer, I think about things.
I think most people probably have an idea that resolutions are supposed to be able to keep themselves. Like, if you resolve to do a thing, it’s supposed to get easier to do somehow. And of course that’s not how it works. I think everybody knows that’s not how it works when they think about it, but then they go ahead and make a resolution expecting magic anyway.
The reality is that resolutions don’t keep people. People keep resolutions—or they don’t. And you have a better shot at keeping your resolutions if you identify why you’re having trouble and do something about it.
Here are some likely suspects:
You Don’t Want To
I’m not talking about hidden, subconscious motivations—I’m not sure they exist, for one thing. But do you really want to go to the gym? Or do you just think you should go? Or maybe you just want to have gone? If you don’t want to go to the gym, and you don’t go, you’re not lacking in willpower. You’re doing exactly what you are willing to do.
You Actually Can’t
If you really want to do something but haven’t done it all year, there’s probably a reason. Maybe you don’t have enough time or you’re too tired after attending to your other responsibility. Maybe something else is wrong. You may be able to fix the problem, but a New Years’ resolution, all by itself, won’t help.
There Are Habits Involved
A habit is an automatic behavior sequence—when you do something the same way over and over again, your brain offloads responsibility for the task to a part of the brain that doesn’t think. It just runs step-by-step tasks. That lets you think about something else while your task runs on autopilots. Unfortunately, your inner autopilot will keep running until it completes, because it can’t think. That’s how you end up driving to work on your day off by accident. It’s a habit.
Habits can’t be broken, but they can be replaced. For example, if your autopilot kicks in when you get home from work, you could spend the evening watching TV night after night instead of going to the gym, simply by habit. So create a new habit, one that begins before you get home. You can read more about constructing new habits online. The sense of having a clean slate with the beginning of a new year can help, it just won’t do the trick by itself.
For more on this, try here and here.
You’re Short on Executive Function
Executive function is your ability to make decisions and follow through—an ability that varies. In extreme cases, executive dysfunction is a serious disability, but even if you function well enough day to day, you might be struggling a bit, maybe without knowing why you can’t make yourself do everything you want to. You’re not imagining it, it’s a real problem. Talk to a doctor if it’s a new problem for you, you might have something treatable. But there are tricks you can use to compensate, such as body doubling. You can find out more online about this, too.
There Are Addictions Involved
Addictions are another real thing, and resolutions can’t cure them—and yet some are curable, or at least treatable. Get help if you need it.
The Bottom Line to New Year’s Resolutions
If you want to make resolutions, make them, but set yourself up for success. Resolutions won’t keep you. You keep them.
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